About

Recently qualified counsellor and navigating the combination of this and living with a dissociative disorder.

An about me is difficult to write when you have a dissociative disorder. Which me would you like to know about?

I suppose it is worth saying, that I have kept my real life adult name off this site for a reason. In navigating the world, most people in my life still don’t know about my other parts. I have often lived in worlds where they haven’t been able to be shared, but maybe doing this will gradually make it easier. However, their names are all real.

I have recently completed a post-graduate diploma in counselling. Before this I trained to level 5 but there were complications and I knew I needed more training before I took any next steps. Before this, I taught abroad for 8 years.

My split off parts were first pointed out to me in 2008, and I was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder in 2013.

The first to come out was Lottie. She is a cute 7 year old who is obsessed with My Little Pony. Then came Charlie, an out-spoken 15 year old who is very clever and incredibly perceptive. Keaira, is pre-verbal, who just curls up, sucks her thumb and wants to cling on to the nearest caring adult. These are the 3 that are still around and still have their own wants, needs, thoughts, ideas and anything else you might expect from people of their ages.

There were 2 others who are basically fully integrated back into the adult me. Thana, is an 11 year old who took to self-harm to survive and who used to take over when feelings got too much. Then, there is a 17 year old who never really settled on a name. That was part of her personality, she was compliant, a people-pleaser, needing to do whatever she could to make sure she was invisible and blending in.

I am not an expert. Yes, I am a counsellor, but all that really does is give me tools to walk alongside someone else, it does not make me an expert. We can all learn about how the world is for other people, this is how the world is for me.